Love Holds No Grievances (a Course in Miracles)

      There is something to be said about unconditional love, whether you believe in it or not.  It does exist, but not usually in romantic love.  Love never dies, or is killed, not if it is real.  Many times romantic love is finally killed, and well it should be, because romantic love has expectations, romance, sex, 'specialness,' 
a Course in Miracles term, a term which, when I use, is underlined in red, because in the world or the average dictionary, the term does not exist.  "Love holds no grievances."  ACIM  
     We all know what this means.  Many years ago, I made the worst decisions of my life.  Some may have suggested other decisions.  But, we all know where we fully went wrong, and I do as well.  A psychic predicted everything that happened, and yet, I still followed the progress of what was to come.  It was as though I was under a spell, and I could not help myself, but with knowledge and know how, I could have made better decisions.  I was a mature woman, a mother, a divorcee, but still I made stupid decisions based on ego, etc..  Some want to know where my new age learning began.  I wish it were with Meher Baba, and as much as I love Mehera, his beloved, and her part in my life, my marriage and my children, with all her love and kindness, it came later than that.
    It came when the pain was too long and too great.  It came when I was tired, tired of trying to carry all that baggage on my own, when nothing could take away the way I felt.  
     I was bringing up two kids alone, and I found the I Ching, astrology, the Course in Miracles, yoga, meditation, Reiki, which I became a master of, and I learned about what Jung talks of, 'the shadow', myself, my dark self, the self that society may or may not accept, where I was liberated from the need to be spiritual, to be what others expected, and then only then could I be myself.  That is why I love the book Women Who Run With the Wolves so much, because I am not Mehera, and I am not perfect and I was exhausted, sick and virtually tired of being perfect.  I could not do it anymore.  I had to be everything I am, and not just one part, I had to be parts I did not even know.  
    Now, I no longer have to pretend to be anyone or anything, but who and what I am, and that person, woman, she-wolf, canine lupus or canine rufus, that free spirit, is who and what I am today and am proud, a brave, a squaw, a warrior, medicine woman, artiste, craftswoman, home maker, administrator, mother, friend, sister, daughter, dancer, singer, teacher, scientist, all things I am, but I am no longer what you try to make me be.  Not ever, ever again.  The cost to my soul is too great.  The suffering too severe, the emergency too dire.  Here I stand before you, and I am.  I just am, for love holds no grievances towards myself or anyone.