I Realized What Bothered Me

     Recently I got a resentment, which is not unusual, but it took me a while to figure out what really bothered me and why.  What bothered me, I guess, was that when I was at any type of open program at the Meher Center, when people got to talk, that no one ever asked me in all the years and years, since I grew up at the center since I was five, just turned five, and had parents who met Baba and had special permission to build a house on the center, why or how my parents came to meet Baba, how old I was, what growing up at the center was like, especially in '66 before they all came.  No one ever asked me anything.
      I know in the Course in Miracles, no one is 'special.'  The thing is they all act like they are so important and special, singing at programs, working at the center.  It seems everyone has a holier than thou attitude towards me, and treat me like a I am to be shunned, and exclude as well as ostracize me.  I do not really care, and I know I am not a conformer, but it is not like I am a bad person, who does bad things, etc..
     So, I have just given up.  They do not want to see me, know me, hear me, and I feel this way mutually now.  It is like you grow up at the Baba Center, and everyone assumes that that is a privilege when really there were many draw backs to that.  
     My parents built and payed for the road that goes from Patterson Drive into the Center through my mother's house, Sheriar Gate House, and they just have their special keys to that chain, because they are very important, but they are so not interested in what my family was ever doing there, or why.  It is the strangest thing.  It is so strange. 
     The picture shows right to left, my late father, Lyn Ott, my sister Mimi and me in either the late '70's to early '80's.