Recently my mother said to me, "so you want to do a solo act." I felt bad, because it is not really that I want to, just that I have not found the right person to share my life with, and I have my grown children and friends. Also I do like being alone. I would rather be alone than be with someone who does not treat me right. I know my mother meant well as usual, and of course I said nothing. I will not play into the fear and insecurity that present themselves in these statements because I know they were meant with love, and I am projecting my fear and insecurity as well as judgment on to the statement, while she is also projecting hers of some sort into the statement, so as the Course in Miracles would teach, I choose to see this differently, correct my perception. That is the true essence of forgiveness of any kind, not that this innocent statement of my mom's requires forgiveness, because as I said she said it with good intentions.
I know when I do feel inferior in any way that it will pass as will any feeling of superiority. These are merely movie screen projections onto the movie screen I call my life. That is how ACIM would explain it.
The key I think is to love myself and accept myself as a child of God and a sister in Christ. I accept every other person as my brother or sister in Christ.
Also, I am not always Shakti, but sometimes Kali with the blood dripping tongue. I embrace the bad with the good and all aspects of myself, as Jung said "the shadow." When I feel bad I embrace that darkness in myself as well, and I take my darkness to the light.
When I feel bad, I push on with exercise, good food, yoga and meditation. I go to yoga classes whenever and where ever I can. This helps a lot.
I would like to quote a few words from a song I wrote called Lately: "So I take to Him my darkness, into infinite knowledge and brightness, this suffering is bliss." Infinite knowledge - Paramatma.
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