Letting Go of Self Recrimination

     Before I went on vacation, one of my issues was mostly just self doubt.  I did not doubt my talents or my blog or my intelligence.  I did not doubt my level of education or my ability to stand on my own belief systems although I know many or a couple at least of my views are conservative and not very popular beliefs among my bleeding heart liberal ironically, friends.  Although I am not judging anyone, really I am not, one is my pro-life point of view except in rape and incest as whatever the individual feels about it being the only two exceptions, and always no matter what in the late months.  My only other conservative view, is that I strongly believe in the second amendment to The Constitution of the United States of America and all other amendments at that. 
     Now I will get back to my subject.  I was feeling doubtful of myself as a woman, and I was a little bit afraid of the world and how they were to perceive me as a visually impaired person.  I was feeling bad about not being able to apply eye makeup, but my mother who is supposed to think you are beautiful said my eyes were beautiful and that I did not need makeup on them.  This helped.
     I used to be a wearer of eye makeup and contact lenses until I became more and more blind and contacts did not help and my eyes were chronically infected with or without them.  So, now I wear lipstick sometimes, especially when I have no lip balm and powder when my skin is shiny from the heat.
      The yoga class I attended helped me a lot, in Charleston this past weekend.  I realized that I am OK to be who I am, that I did not have to mold into any individual, self or society dictate.  And, not egotistically, but in a more inner spiritual sense, I felt whole again and therefore I felt beautiful again.  What truly matters is one's inner beauty, without which the content of, there is nothing.  I also let go of desires, expectations and the need to be seen, heard and thought or not thought of in any particular way.  I also found compassion, feeling with by definition, for my self rather than constant self judgment and condemnation.  If others judge me or condemn me, it is not my problem.  I felt free, OK with who I am and that, my friend, is a beautiful feeling.  It is extremely liberating.  I am not saying I will not have other bad days or cry some more, but for now I am OK with all that is however it is.