Healing and Acceptance; Being With What Is

     Sometimes I think about writing my life story or maybe the worst parts, just to cleanse it from my psyche or process it.  I have written some of it, not on my blog, but in a manuscript, which is only one part of my life.
     I would like to focus on healing the past, rather than reliving it painfully with sorrow and regret.
     As a holistic health practitioner, a Reiki Master, I do reiki on myself at times to heal my emotions and body, since body and mind are connected.  My eye disease drains me, because I know that every nutrient I ingest or that my own body makes, tries to be used to make up for the lack of.  I also do yoga and meditation.  Sitting cross legged, hands open on the knees, back straight, I close my eyes and look towards my third eye.  Breathing in and out through my nose, I pay no attention to what I see, clearing a space in my own self, letting thoughts go.  I see things, colors shapes through my third eye, but I ignore these looking not for definition.
     Still the sadness sometimes overcomes me.  I was hurt recently because my own brother was telling me how much he loves this man I lived with who stole from me and treated myself and my children badly.  I said nothing and am trying to let it go, but it stung me, making me want to write a memoir of when my son David was little and this man made our lives unbearable, and maybe I will someday when I learn to use JAWS, a computer program for the blind that will enable me to write more without straining my eyes and that I can use even if I end up totally blind God forbid.  I really hope that does not happen, but I know it is a strong possibility.  I will not project but stay in the now, in today and say The Serenity Prayer. 
     So, I let it go and I said nothing and for now and today I will not dwell on my past or present shortcomings, but will just move on with what is and what I have now.