Forgiveness for Oneself

     I wish more self help books talked about forgiving oneself.  I think there are too kinds of people, those who think they are victims always, and those who blame themselves.  I know this is somewhat putting it in black and white, and there are many gray areas, nuances.  It is not that simple, really.
     I blame myself for the suffering of others, due to mistakes I made in the past.  Truthfully, my children have suffered for the most part, but I also blame other adults in my life, for their own part, but I also beat myself up for certain bad decisions I have made.  I know that this is unhealthy.  This is where God and A Course in Miracles come in.  The past does not exist, in a sense, and I can identify with now, like Eckhart Tolle talks about, rather than looking behind and ahead.  I may also say a prayer:

Dear God,
     I have made so many mistakes in the past.  I have caused suffering for myself and others that I love.  I know that You always forgive, so help me to forgive myself and heal the scars of my loved ones, as well as my own.  Help me be a better person, with Your compassion and guidance.

Amen

     Forgiving oneself is hard.  Some people do not take any responsibility for their own part, because they have not worked a program of sobriety.  
     Either way, being a victim totally in one's mind or blaming oneself for everything, it is wrong, because no one has complete control of the events in life.  And, some of our behaviors, disturbances, etc. are often out of our control.  People get unwell at times, like having a cold, only mental, and it can last a long time, unfortunately.  If during that time, things in one's life got out of hand, and others lives turned upside down, then one has to forgive oneself.  We also need to forgive the people who caused us to suffer, who confused us, tormented us, abused us.
     Finally, we have to heal, pray, find God within, for He is nowhere else out there.  We can be at peace with ourselves, with God, with those we love.  In the 23rd Psalm, King David says, "you prepareth me a table in the presence of my enemies..."  Yes we have enemies, but we need to let them go, and be with God.  We need to find forgiveness.  We do not need to be around them.  We can just let go of those people, places and things which are not serving us, like a yogic intention.  We can meditate on this.  Say, "I let go of all that is no longer serving me."  And this way, we can be free.  We can be happy, like Chris Williamson's Song of the Soul, "let in the light it will heal you, and you will feel you, you can be happy..."
     Someone who heard me sing that at one of my performances, said I should sing that song every day.  We all can, in our hearts.  Namaste.