Independent Woman

     Recently a friend said to me, "I am so tired of people saying 'I love you' and it only meaning that if I do what they want, they love me."  I told her this is not love.  Anyone can see that.  I am saying that love is unconditional.  If anyone does not love you under the circumstances of your life, then they do not love you.  I do not mean to sound cold.  Life makes you hard, whether or not you want it to.  I have lived more than half a century, and seen the millennium come in along with the rest of us.  
     I am not saying to be cold or jaded, but as you must know by now, or you would probably not be bothering to read this, that most people are not that loving, and everyone is selfish, even me.  Yes, even me, but some of us have found some enlightenment, because we have suffered so much and so badly, and maybe we just are not the cool crowd, but we do not have anyone to fix things and make them all perfect for us.
     I deeply regret saying to a friend, not long ago, that I felt jealous about her circumstances.  I have been told the same under different circumstances.
     I have never inspired compassion before, very much.  I have always been a caregiver, and I am legally blind.  Yes, to some small degree, momentarily, I have had men want to take care of me to some small degree, but as a whole that has only been a taste of my karma.
     I wonder sometimes, am I not beautiful enough for anyone to truly love me?  Am I not talented enough for the majority to like my music?  I know I am not unique.
     Also, some of us independent, and I mean truly independent women cannot inspire anyone to want to help us, because we are so self-sufficient, and so men who want to rescue are not drawn to the likes of me, which is actually a positive thing, because I am a woman who has always been able to take care of herself, from a very young age, and I am blind as well.  I don't know.  I don't know the reason, but I am good with this.