When You Lose a Friend

     Most people have lost a friend for one reason or another at one time or another.  I am writing to say it may seem like a terrible thing now, but it is not, and I will tell the reasons I believe this to be so.
     Usually when a friendship dissolves, it is truly mutual, because if you do not like this person anymore, chances are high they are sending signals that they do not like or care much about you, or in my case because I do not drive, they may feel that I am too high maintenance.  The truth is that I have had a friend who I could not really afford to hang out with, because of their expensive taste in restaurants and so forth, but was too proud to say, "can we go some place cheaper."  This was especially so if I had to give them gas money, because I live on a fixed income.  I have enough to live on, but not for a lot of luxury.
     Another toxin that can cause disaster is a friend's jealousy.  People can be jealous over the most ridiculous reason.  They can be jealous that you are single even if you have to take care of yourself.  They can be jealous if you have healthcare even if you are highly disabled.  They can be jealous of your life, anything, stupid things.  One sign of this is if you notice someone copying you, like certain clothing you have.  The friend that I lost, not on fb but in real life, friended all my ex's on fb, and my friends they never met, which I think is creepy and strange.
     Mainly, I think that people grow apart.  And, if that happens and you make a mistake and apologize, clean up your side of the street and they still treat you with disdain, then it was not meant to be, and you did all you can. When I say you, I really mean me.  I recently went through a similar experience to this, and it only bothers me if that person is anywhere I am.  Since I am blind I do not have to see that person if they are slightly out of my straight ahead vision which is blurry anyhow, especially since I have to wear dark glasses in a brightly lit room, because my eyes are light sensitive.  
     I am not saying that I am without fault or failing to take my own inventory, but I have, and I cannot do anything except believe that what is happening is what is supposed to happen.  I do not choose to beat myself up or sit around taking another's inventory.  Moving on is all I can do.  Obviously I care and feel hurt or I would not have bothered to blog about it, but I feel it is for the best.  And, that person did not treat me with due respect I feel.