A few days ago was my son's birthday.
It was a hard time because he has not been
well. I was in turmoil and tribulation, although
it was not about me.
His father and brother, a close friend and
a couple of other family members came after
work and school. Ted, my son was not feeling
that social but was very sweet.
I was touched that his father went out and
bought him a really nice present. My mother
came by with a gift earlier and everyone brought
things, food, nuts, wings, candy. I baked a
cake, a layer cake the night before, chocolate
with vanilla icing and made tuna salad sandwiches.
I know I was too emotional and made issues,
cried at one point, got mad at one point. Now
I realize I should have just chilled, but we had
a nice party regardless, just a little family thing.
Sometimes I fail to see the good in those
around because I take everyone's inventory
and act like life is a sport where you keep score.
This is my own character defect. I see that
now.
I realize how wholesome the people near
me are, how much good is in their hearts. I
posted on facebook about my son's illness
and I can feel the love that has been sent his
way like rays of light and warmth.
So, tonight a group of us sang in the recording
studio, choral part in a friend's album. It
turned out really smoothly and the timing was
officiant. Overall it has been a good day. I
feel gratitude and I know that God is running
the show not me.
From now on I am going to be a better person
and less of a control freak, and I am going
to start appreciating every gesture of love, knowing
that even attacks, including my own are but
cries for love, which is the opposite of fear,
ACIM, a Course in Miracles.
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