Just to Name a Few of the Hazards of Visual Impairment

     As you know, I am legally blind.  I have no vision in my right eye, and about ten degrees, although the doctor says it can't be measured, just had to give a number in my case, for recording purposes, of visual field.  The maximum requirement for legal blindness is 20, and the normal person has 180.  Also, I wear thickish glasses, and am extremely nearsighted in my one good eye, so that even with glasses my vision is not clear and I cannot recognize people across a living size room, unless they are someone I know extremely well.  I can see the basic hair color, whether it is light or dark, and their basic size and outline, or aura, but not their features, nor can recognize them until they talk, and I hear their voice and or they say their name.  If they are right in front of me, I know who they are.  I can see their face, if close to me.
     I have tunnel vision, so in a lowly lit room, I can only see one person's face, and all else is black.  Then if I want to talk to someone else, I must turn directly towards them.  At night, outdoors, I could just be considered almost totally blind, because my retinas are diseased and my eyes do not adjust to darkness like normal eyes.
     Sunlight is bad for my eyes, so I must wear UV sunglasses from the Commission for the Blind, and indoor lights hurt my eyes if they are too bright.  Still, if it is too dark, I cannot find things or see what I am doing, which is why I have lots of flashlights.
     I was looking for my remote for my CD player for ages, and low and behold finally last night, I reached in a basket I had already been through a few times before, and put my hand right on it and pulled it out, but I had been doing psychic trances, hypnotizing myself, as to its feel, the last time I held it in my hand, and where I may have stored it.
     I also found my Reiki Master Teacher Manual finally, after looking for that for ages.
     Yesterday I was in Walgreen's with my brother.  I walked straight into a man on my right, my blind side, and he looked at me like I was nuts.  I told my brother I should use my cane, I know, because this happens frequently.
     Still, my brother has a friend who my brother tells me, says I am faking being blind, and yesterday someone said it in jest.  First of all I said to my brother, "why does he like you, if he thinks your sister is a fraud?"
     And, at the Original Kitchen at the Meher Center yesterday, when someone said it in jest, I joked along, "yeah, it really makes my life so much more fulfilling and I get so much out of that."  Of course I was being sardonic, perhaps flippant, but did not get mad.  What is the point, but truly it is not funny, and I did not appreciate it, even in jest, if that was what it was.  That is like joking about someone in a wheelchair.  It is not funny, but people are ignorant.  What can I say?
     Then I went outside and conversed with some people, and they were genuinely interested in asking about the details of my vision, before we went on to talk about other things.
     I really do not care what others think.  I only see it as their ignorance and lack of education.  They cannot see through my eyes.  They can say what they want.  I do not rent space for them in my head.  'In my defenselessness my safety lies', A Course in Miracles.  They are only creating bad karma for themselves.
     As for computer and facebook, I have to enlarge everything.  In fact I have misunderstandings, because I cannot read long private messages, because so enlarged, I cannot scroll.
     Also, don't they know I would rather drive a car and have freedom?  Do they know how many lonely hours I have spent, because I could not go out on my own, without being able to drive a car?  I used to drive before my eyes worsened.  Do they know how little I have asked of others?  Do they know what it is like to not be able to get a ride, when you really want to go somewhere, but you can't, and so you resign yourself to that and accept it?  I hope the people who say ignorant things, have to come back next life and go through everything I have.  I really do, and I am sorry, but I am pissed at that crap.
      Anyway, that is it for now.  Much love to all.  Namaste.