I received a tweet from one of the famous writers I follow, Jodi Picoult, that now in Arizona, there is a law that would allow businesses to not serve gays, on the basis of their religious views. I retweeted this, because it is discrimination to say the least. That seems to be a violation of civil rights. In fact, it does not seem to be a violation, but is a violation of civil rights.
There is so much hate and prejudice in the name of so called religion. Many, many gay people are Christians, who go to church or Jews who go to temple, but many cannot even get married in their own church. I actually mean most, because most ministers and rabbis will not perform a gay ceremony even where gay marriage is legal.
I am not a liberal, nor a conservative. I have views that are moderately conservative, and some that are somewhat liberal. I also have views that are pretty conservative, such as the belief that citizens have a right to have a gun, so long as the police do. However, this is another story, and not something I am talking about at the moment.
Why are people threatened by homosexuality? A real man would not be homophobic, nor a woman. Perhaps, people fear their own latent homosexual impulses that perhaps, most people have at least thought of. I realize I may be going too far here.
The only way to look at it is that, what if you had a son or daughter who was gay? Would you still have a problem with being gay?, and I know I am preaching to the choir, because most of my readers are somewhat liberal. I am making a point towards them, the haters. I realize that bad shit happens to people that can make them hate someone, like a boy being molested by a priest, an atrocity and a tragedy, something impossible to recover from, so I am not judging anyone on any level, either way. How ironic it is, though, considering the fact that most churches are affiliated with the Catholic church and its dogma, even Protestant churches that say the benediction.
When you think about it, it is no different from discriminating against gender or race. I thanked Jodi Picoult, and being a fan of hers, have read novels on these same topics. Thank you for reading my blog. It really makes my day for people to enjoy my blog, for what it is worth.
If you do not have a lot of money, have you ever thought about what you would do if you did? Have you ever thought about what your priorities were? Some people have so much they do not know what to do with it. I suppose they have to hide money in offshore accounts to avoid taxes, but then some are probably fairly honest.
I do not consider myself materialistic or bourgeois at all, and although I would like to have a far better house, I do not think people should choose their friends or who they hang out with by what they have. Some people only want to socialize with rich people who live in big suburban houses. They are social climbers, who act like they are slumming when they enter your home even for a moment. I do not feel this way about everyone who has money. I have friends who are fairly well off, who do not act like this at all, and usually the people who behave in such a manner are not really rich, but rich 'wanna be's' who think they may become rich by hanging around rich people, and living in an expensive neighborhood, which they must be at least a little rich to afford.
Wealth is a state of mind. Some rich people are poor in spirit. You know how Jesus said, "blessed are the poor..."
I think what matters most is finding balance in life, but if you are like me, you may have wondered what you would do with it, if you had much money. I think it would be good to help someone who really needs help, someone in your family that you know, if they will accept help, perhaps donate to specific charities you truly believe in that you know are on the up and up, that the money really goes to the people it is supposed to, and not a fraudulent group.
I think that if you had never traveled, traveling might be an option, a long vacation in Europe, traveling across the country, perhaps checking out Israel or Australia, perhaps a beautiful country in Africa like Kenya, although some countries in Africa have had a lot of civil war like Somalia and Nigeria, so you may not want to go to the beach of Nigeria. Mexico and South America are nice, so long as you stay clear of the drug cartels.
I would like to have a really nice house like the one I had for two years, the last part of my marriage and then some, with an upstairs and a fireplace, lots of windows, only with less wasted space and cathedral ceilings than my house had, to avoid high energy bills. I think it would be great to be able to house one's family very, very comfortably with lots of bathrooms, and there is just something about a fireplace. I love building fires in them. It is so country, so rustic.
It would also be cool to have a really nice car, even though I do not drive, I could have someone else drive my car with me in it. Of course, if you had lots of money, people would try to take advantage of you, so you would have to be careful, but it would still be sort of nice, although not the be all and end all of life.
The other thing I would like to have, which I can have now, because I have land I rent, which my mobile home I own is located on, is a big garden, with a lot of flowers. I already planted a fur tree this week, but I think this spring I am going to do some gardening. The earth is pretty rich around me.
Lastly, I would have lots of animals, and even a horse or two, and maybe I would have foster children, not sure, because I am kind of glad my kids are grown. It was pretty difficult bringing kids up, especially since more than half of it was on my own, at least with the younger one.
Whatever you do, just remember that happiness is internal, and I know this is a cliché, but it really is true.
When I first started blogging, my main topic was abusive relationships, either physically or emotionally, financially draining, etc., then turned to more philosophical topics, and now I am back to relationships again. I suppose I have been thinking about the topic more lately, especially seeing young people make decisions about marriage and children, as well as middle aged and above people.
One thing I have to say is that if you have to hide the truth about yourself to someone, for fear of losing him or her, they are not worth having. For example, a girl from my support group was told not to tell the guys she dates, that she has retinitis pigmentosa, by her opthamologist. Everyone was appalled. How old school. Yes, RP is hereditary, and she may go blind one day, but I told her to empower herself as a woman, as well as someone with RP. This is old school and completely unacceptable. I said that if you cannot tell someone the truth, they are not worth having. It really made me mad at that doctor. Obviously a man, and a sexist one at that, but he was completely overstepping a boundary in my opinion.
So, first I feel that it is important to be able to be honest with someone. I do not think it is necessary to tell your whole life story or tell every single thing right away. I feel there needs to be a sense of stability and intimacy between you and another person, before you tell them all about you. I have had friends who knew nothing about me, because they never listened, always talked about themselves. Obviously, you want someone who listens to you, as well as you listening to them. Being a good listener is important.
I strongly recommend that no one ever date anyone, or even try to date anyone, who broke up with someone in the last year, or that was recently in a relationship. The last thing you want is to be with someone on the rebound, or who has a lot of relationship baggage. Nine out of ten times, they are not over their ex, and they might even still be seeing them intermittently or at least talking regularly. Do not waste time on this. You will only get hurt. I have dated people before, and did not know they were still hung up on someone, until they sprang it on me. It is not fair to the person you are with. Also, do not date anyone who has a history of promiscuity. Although, you should always have safe sex, you should not take chances, just my opinion. I do not usually talk about sex on my blogs, but I think this is an important issue.
Next I would say, pay attention to signals. Perhaps I am easily discouraged, but I think it is a bad idea to waste time on anyone, who does not truly seem interested. It is obvious if he or she is not that into you, so trust your gut about that, and do not listen to well meaning match makers, who tell you they are interested, and you do not have to be interested or settle, just because it seems to be what others want for you.
I suppose what I am saying is not to humiliate yourself in this way. Self preservation is important, although perhaps you can be too easily discouraged.
Red flags are plentiful. If someone does not have their life together at all, such as no job, no home, that is a no brainer. Chances are they just want to mooch off you. Even if he seems sexy or sophisticated, he may be an opportunist, just looking for a place to crash. He or she may even be looking for opportunity to steal from you.
If you are dating someone, and they dump you for someone, or even to pursue someone else, never ever take them back. It will never end. You will never get the respect you deserve from him or her.
Also, if he or she is physically abusive, and we all know about the young woman who knifed her boyfriend to death, her trial being on TV, then that is another no brainer. One smack leads to more. I need say no more.
Excessive and inappropriate jealousy, even though there is no reason for it, as well as controlling behavior, is unacceptable. If your boyfriend checks your phone calls in your phone, this is an overstepping of boundaries. This is a bad sign. They should realize that your social medias are yours, unless the call or email is for both of you.
Well, there are plenty of other things, such as put downs, insults, belittling, and we all know about all that, but I am going to close by saying that it is important not to make another human being your higher power, more special than God. This is the meaning of codependence in a sense, and should not be the case. Although, you can love someone deeply, one must love oneself first, in order to love and be loved. Romance is not worth forsaking one's sanity, health and well being. Not everyone is lucky in love, but do not ever let this define how you feel about you. There are old fashioned silly stigmas about not getting married, but in a new age, that should not be the case. Love to all. Namaste.....
John 13: 34-35 says "a new command - love one another..." I read a novel not long ago where this quote came up, and I was on Facebook last night with my son, reading some judgmental comments, thinking this very quote when someone wrote it. Of course, when human beings start to debate and quarrel, no one is really right or wrong, because I did not necessarily agree with either side. I have found, however, that if I have extreme views, I need to keep them to myself. Also, I have to question, are my views compassionate and non-judgmental? Am I looking at the gray areas or just one part of a whole? Am I being fair? Am I coming from love or fear? Marianne Williamson says that if you come from love, there is no room for a neurotic thought. I believe this is true.
The overall problem is that we are all egos, and our nature is to judge. I admit I judge people. I make decisions not to spend time with certain people, because they drag me down, etc., but as the bible says in John, I can still love them. I can love everyone. My judgment of others and myself as well, is merely fear based. I can pull away from hurtful people for whatever reason, but this does not mean I have to judge them in any way, good or bad. It is not black and white. There are gray areas. I think the difference between maturity and immaturity is the realization that others exist and have pain, not just you. Immature people think everything is about them, and cannot really see how others feel at all.
It is easy to be self-righteous, but if you look back over your life, you must ask yourself, "am I being a hypocrite? Am I accusing someone of something that I have done too?"
It is easy to point the finger, and guilt is no better. Guilt in excess, can become another form of egotism, as if you control the universe, as if you alone, are God.
The fact is, we cannot control the universe or others, but we can control ourselves to some degree. We cannot change or redo the past. This we have no control over, but we have now, and now is a time to love one another as the bible says.
I think loving others starts with loving oneself. Loving oneself is not the same as being a narcissist or an ego maniac. It is about accepting oneself, having compassion for oneself without self-pity, self-judgment and fear.
We are not our story. Some people constantly want to tell their story, but our story may be our past, but it does not define us. It is merely a movie, a screen on which our ego has projected a plot like a movie, good or bad. If we want to heal, we must live in the now, like Eckhart Tolle and Ram Daas talk about in their books. Marianne Williamson says we are not our story, and I agree with this one-hundred percent.
So, I feel it is important to obey this command of Jesus Christ, this new command. Many Christians do not obey this command in their condemnation of gay people, etc.. The way is to accept and love others as brothers and sisters in God. Even if you think something judgmental, to announce it to everyone, is not only rude, but unnecessary and hurtful to someone's heart for sure. Just remember John 13: 34-35, the next time one wants to attack anyone, either behind their back or to their face. This includes me. I also need to remember. Thank you for reading. Love to all.
Stephen King is one of my favorite writers of fiction. I have read most of his books on talking books for the blind, now digital, and only available to those legally blind.
Having read many of his books, I have also read the introductions, forwards and afterwards. He is a sober alcoholic, sober since the eighties. He is also a family man. In many of his books, there is a main character who is a husband, father, and recovering alcoholic, and funny as it is, living in Maine where King is from, and a writer as well. Basically he is writing about himself, but a writer, professor, who read one of my manuscripts, told me, it is better to write about yourself? I mean, what better do you really know about. I felt that American Boys, my e-book, was definitely about me. I am a woman like Lizzy, independent, struggling, self-sufficient, who makes kids, sons like me, a priority. Of course, had I had daughters, it would have been just as important, of course.
The point was that I knew more about being a mother of boys than of girls. In King's The Shining, the character played in the movie by Jack Nicolson, remember "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy," (and his wife Wendy discovering this writing and freaking out, knowing he's gone mad), is an alcoholic. I cannot remember from the book or the movie, whether the character Jack, discovered the alcohol, or whether it was metaphysically present, because of the ghosts, but the book makes it evident that he gets drunk. Alcohol is his issue in the book any way. I think Stephen King probably felt like he turned into a monster when he drank, and that Jack, in the book and movie, was King having gotten drunk, driven crazy by the ghosts, the isolation, and all hell breaks loose.
If you live in a cold climate, and the southeast definitely is in the winter, you may have experienced home owner issues such as frozen pipes, which can thaw out quickly, and sometimes need help with space heaters, hair dryers and heating pads.
When you own a home, whether it is an old house with bad insulation, a mobile home with good insulation like mine, a cabin in the woods, if you are living off the grid, and happen to still have running water, you may have to improvise when it comes to keeping the pipes from freezing. Of course, the best thing is to have someone go into the crawl space and add insulation under the water pipes, but if you do not have anyone to do this for free or do not have money for a plumber, you may have to take precautions, so as not to have a very expensive and inconvenient water damage situation. Worst possible scenario is the water pipes bursting.
These are tips to take to keep the pipes from freezing, and to thaw them out quickly if they do. For a long time, I thought it was the hot water you leave dripping, but it is the cold. Leave all cold water taps, including the bathtub, dripping slightly. Keeping the water flowing keeps it from freezing up. You can fill the tub with water just in case if you like, but rarely will the hot freeze, but it can. The toilet pipes can freeze as well, making it impossible for new water to poor in while flushing, and fill up the tank, requiring you to have to flush the toilet with hot water. I guess it does not have to be hot, but I had this happen recently, and I used hot water, and I think this helped to thaw it out faster. I did not know at first why the handle was not flushing, but I looked in the tank, and saw that the water was way down. I went on line, and the symptoms were frozen pipes, and the cold water on all faucets, including the kitchen were frozen. I held a hairdryer to the toilet pipes for a while. Fortunately everything thawed by late morning when the sun came out, and the temperature had risen.
You can also wrap a heating pad around the sink pipes to help thaw them out. However, to take preventative measures, you need a space heater or two, depending on the number of bathrooms. I borrowed one from family, but I also have another small one on order. If you keep a small safe space heater running on low, with the bathroom door closed all night, this will keep the pipes warm. Keeping the cabinets open helps as well. This enables heat to get to the pipes better.
Lastly, check the whether report on your computer. Windows 8 has an app just for that. You can also check on your cell phone, TV or radio, not to mention news paper if you are old fashioned.
The other night, the toilet pipes froze in my home. The heat would not get over 65 degrees in my home. This is an indication that all precautions should be taken. Like they say, a stitch in time saves nine. We once lived in a beach front winter rental when my house first sold, in '95. The pipes froze, and the condo owners had to send some guys to thaw the pipes in a high rise building, quite a job. So, if you do all these things I suggest, everything should be alright.
Consciousness, all there is. Perhaps, we are born from nothing and go to nothing. Life is about nothing really, and at the same time about a lot of things, or at least you have to live it like that, and yet the nonsense becomes more evident as time goes by.
I am reading a book called, The Drowning Girl. You know the painting. She isn't really drowning. Remember Virginia Wolf, who filled her pockets with stones, and walked into the water.
Picking friends for a party is interesting. I once invited people to a party, Halloween I think, and everyone I invited, including myself, was involved with some sort of love triangle, in one way or the other. Of course, my wits caught up with me, and I canceled the party, which could have been a brawl, if not worse, perhaps a cat fight. It might have been exciting if drama is your thing. I guess drama was still my intrigue then.
The dogs in the neighborhood have lost it. A mean dog attacked a little dog. The men were shouting. The woman was crying. I could not see her. She sounded like a child. No one was seriously hurt, except the little dog needed a veterinarian, and the owners had no money, could not speak English either.
White noise grows so loud that it swallows us whole. I think these are thoughts that intrude on the mind. We can control our thoughts, but the more sane, the more control one does have on one's thoughts.
It took me ten years to clean out the closet that haunted me. I guess I feared the pictures would make me sad. In a way they did, but the only way was to just plow through it.
My ancestors hang on the walls in black and white now. My childhood, my adulthood, my children.
Is spirituality a show, something you display? I do not think so, at least it is not to me. Still, I see others displaying devotion like a theatrical event. I am nothing, and I know that, just a bubble in the sea. Yoga is not a spiritual display, but a discipline, a meditation and meditative movement of the body that helps to heal the body and mind, keeping one serene, balanced and healthy. It can also help to align the chakras, keeping them open, but not too open, and balanced as well. When the seven chakras are aligned and balanced, there is a true sense of well being in all one does, and also in one's daily life in general, such as decision making, communication, work, relationships, solitude, and so forth. Namaste.
