So this has been a big project for me. Not only finally did I get a new bed thanks to family members, but I have been getting rid of stuff I do not need or want.
I read numerous blogs to help me figure out the best ways to do this. Some of the minimalists were just too minimal for me. I mean for me, one pair of jeans is so not enough.
I did learn the basics of clothes purging though. 1) If it does not fit now, it is probably not going to. 2) If you have not worn it in a year, out it goes. 3) If it is worn out and pilled. 4) If it is too trendy or young for you now. 5) If it is just good memories, take a picture. It will last longer, lol, except something like my son Teddy's wolf cub shirt with all its badges. I even bought a little box just for this and the ascot as well. I also saved my other son David's swim team sweatshirt and tee-shirt, as well as his North Myrtle Beach High School icon patch for being a senior athlete. That is different however. I did keep a leather jacket that my ex husband bought me as a birthday gift more than twenty years ago, as well as a Victoria's Secret fuchsia bathrobe, given to me by a long term boyfriend, because they were in perfect condition, really nice gifts, and very expensive and hard to replace. Back on the list, 6) If it has bad memories or a vibe you do not like, 7) you just do not like it, 8) it does not look good (you have to try things on), 9) It is not your style anymore, such as a suit when you no longer work in an office or a million yoga outfits if you do not teach yoga anymore, so you only need a couple, and 10) you just have way too many and have to part with some of them, whether it be tee-shirts or leggings. Just keep the ones you really like.
Now I want to talk about the things that can go wrong. You sometimes can get carried away and give up something you really like. I have been known to ask the Goodwill if they had seen a certain thing I wanted back. Never any luck. I have even practically dived back into a giveaway bin to retrieve a blouse I did not mean to give.
Recently, I did not go this far, but I was doing this great job of getting rid of stuff, and I got rid of a baby blue hoodie, a men's one, small. I really wanted it back, and could not find one, but I ultimately found one like it, only it's a pullover rather than zip up, and a different brand, but cheap and same color and size, also from the men's department. Sometimes women can buy certain unisex items cheaper like a hoodie, in the men's department, that are really nice.
Usually I just forget about what I part with, but I had this whole experience with one other item, and I suppose it was just attachment or the grass greener. I had to get rid of some long sleeve jersey tops, because I had so many. I got rid of a couple of shirts I had worn and worn for the last ten years or more, one burgundy and easy to replace, which was really worn out, and one navy and gray striped sweater with very elegant navy ribbed cuffs that were very long. It had a plunging V-neck. It was pilled and I was sick of it, and had been slightly annoyed and bored with it every time I tried to wear it in the last two years or more. Still, I got in my head, that it was just the greatest shirt, and if I could only have that one thing, I'd give away everything, not really, lol, but practically.
Long story short, I found one just as nice on Body Central, and my sister took me to the local shop here, and I was able to get one, and it is actually nicer by far than it said on the website in terms of material. I love it.
So, I hope this was interesting, although a bit light weight. I guess clothes can be interesting though. The moral of the story is, 'it's all good.'
I would like to talk more about living in a more minimalistic fashion. I realize it is not for everyone, but if you are on a fixed income or earning a low wage, but need to get by and live comfortably at the same time, I have some helpful hints.
First of all, unless it is broken, do not fix it. I admit I have some things that should be replaced some time in the near future, but they are doing for now, and only the really important things need a true repair.
I have examples of things that I personally can do without, but I realize that everyone has different needs and priorities based on life style, personality, family size, social life, etc.. As for me, I do not need a big coffee pot. My kids and myself get up at different times and prepare our own coffee. I have guests occasionally, but not usually big coffee drinkers. I like my coffee really fresh, so I just have a cone, but I have a small coffee maker put away in case I want to change methods. When I think or browse online for a new coffee maker of any kind, like a French press or a cappuccino maker or what have you, I have to ask myself, 'do I really need this?'
Then there is clothing. This is a really big one. I have always loved clothes since I was a little girl. I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was a kid, and I used to draw and color in detail, pictures of fabulous outfits and boots with intricate embroidery, embellishments and laces. However, my fashionista days may be over, although I still like clothes. When I go through my wardrobe, I have to ask myself, 'do I really like this anymore? Will I ever really wear this again? Do I really need a business suit still? An evening gown? I know we all do this, so I hope this is not too elementary, but I like being plain and to the point, rather than fancy and pretentious.
Then there are the skin and hair products. Yes, I need lotions and face cream as well as shampoo and conditioner, but I do not need twenty different bottles cluttering the shower.
The list goes on like, 'how many sets of sheets, towels, mugs, hangers, storage containers, (these are useful I must say though) do I really need? Actually, if you are decluttering, it is advised not to get more storage containers, because that is only reason to have more stuff. I took some baskets which contained a lot of useless objects, and put bricks in them in my back yard for decoration outside my back steps, just a creative idea of what to do with these attractive but no longer needed baskets.
If you have ever had a problem with roaches, especially the German variety, clutter is a huge culprit. If your kitchen counters are cluttered, it makes them harder to clean, and a perfect breeding ground for them to hide. Even the cupboards being more sparse, helps to remedy that situation, along with stuff like combat and raid.
So, if you like to shop in store or online, carefully discriminate whether you really need what you are looking at, can you afford it?, and do you already have something similar? With clothes, how many pairs of black pants does one person need? I admit I used to own a lot of clothes, still do, but not unreasonably, and truthfully, I only own one pair of dress shoes. I do not own a pair of sandals, although I have some flip flops. This is because I am legally blind, and it is safer for me to wear tennis shoes, so in the summer I wear canvas sneakers and slip-ons more than my flip flops. I own one white summer blazer and one autumn, winter blazer, well two if you include the black velvet. I own a few jackets, but mainly only one in gray, one in black and one in navy, including a brown leather and a black Dickies Sherpa hoodie for more sporty occasions like hiking and outdoors.
I am only giving an inventory of my clothing to explain my ideas on this subject, and the same goes for bathing suits, dance attire or yoga, whatever your thing is.
Well, what have I not covered? Broken stuff has to go, unless really expensive and hard to replace and a part is attainable via the internet for example, like my son's guitar parts.
I do not own a car. I have a gulf cart to get to the store. It is not easy not owning a car, but truthfully, even if I did, I would not be able to afford registration, tax and insurance, although I did once pay all that somehow. Still, I do afford myself certain luxuries which are my own priorities such as internet, cable, landline and the occasional new age workshop or yoga class.
Still, money is tight, and I do splurge once in a while on some treat, but becoming more and more disciplined is a good thing. We watch the news, all the people suffering in Iraq, Israel and the Gaza strip, and we have to be thankful and grateful every day, and pray for these poor souls. We also can have compassion for ourselves sometimes when life is hard, without wallowing, another luxury we cannot afford. I would love for you to join and follow my blogs if you have enjoyed this one. Shanti. Namaste. Much love.
There is a new way of living called being a minimalist. I am one of those people. Surprisingly, in a world where materialism is the norm, and people are trying to keep up with the Jones's, getting more bigger and better stuff, including cars, houses, etc., there is a new type of living which is becoming more popular. This is called minimalism.
For one thing, most people these days, have too much of everything, except maybe not much money. Many of us try to live beyond our means, and also drowning in stuff. That is right, stuff. For ten years, after I moved into my mobile home, I procrastinated on simplifying my existence.
Eventually, I began to go through everything with a fine tooth comb, getting rid of so much junk I moved into my home, as well as acquired everywhere from The Salvation Army to the Columbia Mall.
I will give examples of things people often have too much of or too many of: 1) clothes, 2) dishes and glasses, etc., mugs... 3) sheets and towels, 4) shoes, 5) hangers, and 6) cosmetics, beauty products and medications that are old and expired. Even perfumed oils and make-up have expiration dates, even if not written on them. The details of this would be a topic for another blog.
I guess what took me so long was all the personal complications and relationships in my life. And then, not that my life is easy or uncomplicated, my life became more peaceful. Or perhaps I did, maybe not externally, but in my own self. I found that I had time to clean and purge myself of all the junk. I went through my stuff, and I eliminated all the things I no longer needed or wanted. It was such a good feeling, and suddenly I had so much more space. I really believe the concept of Feng Shui, that it helps to get rid of clutter.
I saw a video and looked at a blog about these tiny houses people are now living in. Although, to be honest, I would love to have a bigger home and more space, but for now I have a place that is mine and beautiful, a haven that I can kick back in, that is mine, and that I can share with my kids. I might even get a cat again, one of these days.
I admit I read a lot, and I watch TV. I have recently read a good book by Phil McGraw, more commonly known as Dr. Phil. I learned a lot, and I totally agree with him about everything.
However, there are a lot of things I know, which have been learned through experience. No matter how bad you think your job, spouse, or place to live is, someone would love to have it. Also, there are many predators of all kinds in this world, and pecking orders. It is obvious when you watch who someone hangs around with or what they do and where, what their agenda is.
Many times we are just a part of someone's agenda. It is not necessary, however, to tell someone what you really think of them. I mean I have had friends who I totally lost respect for. If you think about the people you do not like, and you are really honest with yourself, and not trying to be politically correct, and if you trust your gut, you will realize why and I think we should all have boundaries. If someone is really full of themselves, you do not have to hang around them. We have a choice.
Another thing I know is that when people tell you what other people say about you, they talk about you too. You can simply say, "I don't want to hear this." Obviously, if they are so comfortable listening to crap or smack about you, they are not your friend either.
When someone leaves you for someone, consider yourself lucky. You are the winner. Do not be tempted to ever take him back. You are free, so enjoy it. Feel grateful, and end all communication. When this happened to me, I tried to take him back, my worst ex boyfriend that is, and it was a big mistake, because in my heart I did not want him back.
I am not a relationship expert. I only know what not to do, rather than what to do. I know what is acceptable, and what is not, and I know how far forgiveness can go. I also know now about rebounding.
Not everyone is bad or skanky or sneaky or evil. Some people are trustworthy and loving. However, these are hard to come by. I mean I think the bad people are more common than the good ones. If you have a keeper, you are lucky, and my hat is off to both of you.
People are so easy to read. You can even test them to see how they really feel about you, and if they look down upon you. Usually you are right. This is not a reason to hate, but I think it is a good reason to stay away from that person. People outgrow people, and that can happen, so do not feel guilty if you have to give up a friend for your own sanity.
Back to relationships of the romantic nature, if you are a fifty year old woman and very independent and sane, unless you are very rich or very unhealthy mentally, it will be nearly impossible to find a guy your age. Most men are attracted to either really unhealthy women or really rich women. So, they are not worth it either. The men who are attracted to really needy, unhealthy women, are unhealthy men.
If you are married, I commend you. Still, I would never want to be with some of the men I see some women choosing. I would not want to be with some of the women either, even if I were gay. It just bores me to tears when people are materialistic social climbers.
Also, do not tell anyone your professional plans. People will undermine you if they can. As I said previously, whatever you have, and however bad you think it is, there are still people who would want it. I mean I do not live in the most desirable neighborhood, but people often stop me when I am outside, while they are going by in their car, to see if I know of anything for rent or for sale.
I know a lot about raising kids too, and I made a lot of mistakes. Mine are grown. I did not do everything wrong. I will say this, if you are a single mom, do not let a man move in, because he will find some way to abuse your kids and you as well. He may also be an opportunist who will take advantage of you financially, like what happened to me. If you are married, then that is different.
Also, if your child is being bullied or preyed upon, take action. Do not be a dumbass about it, and sit there like an ineffectual lump. Do not be too critical of your children, and remember how lonely childhood can be, and how scary and hard it is to tell adults things. Be the protector that a caregiver should be. And, very importantly, believe your children. They need that validation. Otherwise, they could be scarred for life and need years of therapy. It is hard enough to end up well adjusted as it is.
To say something slightly funny, I read a blog about making friends. I was feeling I needed more friends. It said if you are not very well adjusted, people might shy away from you. It certainly made me question my own self. But, I feel I carry myself pretty highly in this world. At least, that is what a friend told me once. Who is not slightly neurotic, anyway?
I have some good suggestions for anyone taking the time for reading my blog. Write and say affirmations like: I am beautiful, I am kind, I will prosper, I will be healthy, I will attract friendship and love that is healthy, and I will nurture my higher self, doing only what is best for my highest good, including forgiving myself, forgiving others, and at the same time healing and having boundaries.
Meditate, eat well, do yoga, and believe in yourself. Be happy. There is nothing more one could want than health, happiness, and prosperity, the feeling of abundance and plenty, rather than scarcity. Rather than coming from a place of deprivation, physically or emotionally, how rich one could make one's life if one came from a place of abundance in all things. Namaste.
We have so much merchandise from China in American stores, because the labor is cheap of course, like slave labor, and the American dollar is worth much more than the Chinese money. The average Chinese person earns about $178 dollars a year. This explains why you can buy stuff online from China for only a few cents with free shipping.
Depending on the seller, free shipping can take up to a month. They say that after a month you can get a refund if the product has still not arrived. The types of things that are very cheap from China, are electronics, clothing, jewelry and accessories, both electronic and computer accessories and clothing accessories.
Some online shopping sites are easier than others. For example, with Amazon.com, you can cancel a purchase fairly easily, although returns are only possible if you have a printer, but sometimes they will have a carrier pick the item up, without you having to go to the post office.
I think with all businesses, phone and cable companies, etc., the customer service makes all the difference. I once talked to several people about my cable, phone and internet, before I could get a half decent deal on my bill. This was all with the same company.
Back to China, some sellers on ebay, ship fairly quickly, even when it is free shipping. The difficulty with ebay is that you have to contact the seller if there is any problem, and of course there is a time difference, so if it is India or China, it may be a while before you hear back, and calling is not an option, since overseas calling is way too expensive.
I think for these reasons, it is simpler to just buy from sellers with 100% positive feedback. All sellers have a seller rating, usually above 97%. You can even read the seller feedback on their profile. Buyers also get feedback, but sellers are not allowed to give bad feedback to buyers. I have heard that sometimes they do, but it gets removed.
I guess I am not that politically correct like my sister, who only buys 'made in the U.S.A..' The thing is that I like the idea of only buying made in the U.S., but the Chinese have things so cheap. It is hard to afford to buy everything made in the U.S..
So, as long as you do not mind waiting for a 'slow boat from China' to arrive with your leggings, scarves, pendants and purses, then it is a cheap and easy way to shop. However, I may not do a lot more business with China.
Another thing about the shipping, as anyone could tell you, if you contact the seller, and they say the item (or items) have been dispatched, this could mean a number of things. The item may just have been packed or is in the process of being packed or prepared for shipment. Technically, it means that a carrier has picked it up to take to a shipping facility. If it is free shipping, then it would be the cheapest way possible, which often means slow. Also, the less you spend, the less they will most likely spend on shipping for obvious reasons. The only way you know it is actually shipped, is when you get an email from the company, saying it is now marked as shipped. With Amazon.com, you get a shipping code to trace your package, and usually, unless it is from an independent seller like American Apparel, you can get texts to your cell phone on the progress as it reaches each shipping post. From China, this is not the case. A really good seller, may give you a shipping code, but not always. If you are anxious at all to get your purchase, you may not want to order from China. There are exceptions, though. I have received a package from India or China rather quickly, but this is not the typical event.
Happy shopping online and in store.
For a week you can be his girl,
It will be quite a whirl,
You might even think he cares for you,
But falsehood is all he ever knew.
He falls for jai baba's and all that's pretense,
But fails to see life for what it is, intense,
And the blind girl with hardship finds herself again,
Wondering why she ever let him take her for that spin.
He's a beatnik from the fifties, a hippie from the sixties,
He floats from one to another without even a care,
All lost, but really not that deep, in his theories,
But he is nothing rare.
She casts pearls before swine,
Not knowing she is truly and without reservation divine,
And she knows better than to doubt herself,
As her life depends on no one else.
He can't see reality, but she is not amazed,
She has seen so many people lost in a haze,
While she deals with the reality that she knows,
In what some might call impoverished and low.
But, underneath she is really a queen,
She is even 'tangerine,'
For she is gentle and kind,
And all the lies in life she's left behind.
For a week she can be his girl,
He can take her for quite a whirl,
And in the end it's all the same,
Just one more empty game.
Yesterday I was hanging out at the coffee shop, sipping Jamaican coffee, listening to CNN, and looking at fashion and cooking magazines. Sometimes I get a sense of how I currently want to dress, and then find out it is exactly what is in vogue.
The bohemian look is in. Peasant blouses, lacy sandals, ankle boots, denim overall shorts, intricate patterns, lace cardigans, jumpsuits and bell bottoms are all the style again in 2014.
For my birthday, 2012, I bought myself a Heidi Klum jumpsuit. It looked so great on the nearly six foot tall model. I bought it online, so I was not able to try it on. Although I realize the style was herum pants, the crotch was down to my knees. Believe it or not I wore it once anyway, because it was really comfortable. Then I just wore it around the house, but the black cotton material kind of stretched out. I was later to learn that a reviewer said the same thing on the sight, once looking again for a possibly smaller size, but deciding to opt out, and not try again on this one.
Finally I got rid of it, but the style was in theory great. So, now I am interested in jumpsuits again, after seeing a herum style jumpsuit in The New Yorker. This one was more tailored, sold at Macy's, less than you would think, about sixty dollars, modeled with a jacket that was not incredibly expensive either. So, naturally I seek a cheaper version of a similar thing.
Another thing is the beanie that is floppy, sort of Vermeer-like as if you would see a maiden stuff her hair inside in one of his wonderful, realist style paintings, very pretty.
So much on style for today. Happy Spring!
