Saturday, October 4, 2014

Ten Ways to Be Happier



"Let in the light it will heal you and you will feel you, you can be happy..."  Chris Williamson: Song of the Soul

When I am worried or upset, fearful or just sad, I have some mantras or things I tell myself, and these may be helpful to you too.  Recently, a friend of mine paid for a twenty minute psychic reading for me at a psychic fair they had in town.  I was allowed to ask three questions, and most of the time ended up being about the first question, which was about someone else close to me.  I used the word 'bleak' about the future, and she said I was putting a judgment on it. 

This was a new concept for me.  I knew about judgment and letting go of it from yoga and a Course in Miracles, but I suppose I had forgotten in all my worries and conflicts.  So, I would say that number one would be letting go of judgment.  Every time you have a negative thought, just say 'judgment' and let it go.

The second thing to remember is 'feelings are not facts.'  I love that saying, which of course you have probably heard before.  It is a common saying in Alcoholics Anonymous, and it is very true.  Just because you feel a certain way, it does not mean what you feel is exactly what is.

Number three would be to remember that 'this too shall pass.'  Everything does.  This is both an old fashioned expression, but also one used in twelve step programs.  Everything does come to pass, and this is true.

Number 4: There is always someone who has it worse.  Sometimes I feel bad that I have RP, and that I gave it to my kids genetically.  However, there are terrible birth defects and cancers, which can also be congenital or 50/50 chance of inheriting.  Many of these are far worse than retinitis pigmentosa, even though RP is certainly not a good thing.  Forgive me for making a judgment.  See, there it is again.

5: Remember the Bob Dylan song from his 'born again Christian' era in the eighties, Serve Somebody?  Sometimes just getting out of self for awhile can help.  Volunteer at a homeless shelter.  Give someone a ride who does not have a car.  Ask an old person or a blind person if they need anything at the store.  Call someone who has not been feeling well, and ask them how they are doing.  Help someone less fortunate than you are. 

6: Do not call five different people and tell them your problems.  Everyone would have different advice, and that would be confusing.  Trust your own gut.  Believe what your higher mind or higher self tells you.  Get in touch with your inner life through meditation and solitude.  Pause.  Also, remember that if you make a decision based on what just momentarily feels better, knowing that the facts make it a bad decision, like taking back a partner you are attached to knowing it did not ever work, then this is not a good decision, only a fix for your addiction, a momentary 'feel better.'  You might ask one person, one confidant like a counselor, and just make a decision right or wrong.  I have made myself sick in my younger days, chewing over a decision until I had no decision left to make.  I was not empowering myself, because I was so full of fear of abandonment.  Fear is everything love is not, so let go of fear and stand strong.  The best decisions can feel terrible and wrong, but 'this too shall pass,' and the rewards will be paramount. 

7: Exercise when you do not feel like it.  Get a lot of rest.  Drink plenty of water.  Take vitamins.  Take long baths, and then dry off in a luxurious spa robe.  Eat healthy food.  Get a haircut or a manicure.  Put lotion all over your body.  Wear sunscreen.  Protect your eyes.  Love yourself.  Buy yourself a treat once in a while if you can afford it.  It does not have to be expensive.  A box of incense is enough of a treat for me sometimes. 

The eighth way to be happier is a big one.  Expectations are a real way to become unhappy.  It is not good to have expectations.  It is important to ask things of people and want them to do their best as well as yourself.  Just do not get upset when people do not meet your expectations, even you. 

This leads me to nine, which is, do not have resentments.  We all do, but you need to write it down and put it in a God box.  Let it go.  'Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.'  It is also 'renting space to others in your head.'  It only hurts you.

Number 10 finally: "How 'bout getting off these antibiotics..."  Alanis Morrisett, a metaphor meaning 'anti-life.'  Surround yourself only with positive and healthy people.  Clean house.  Get rid of toxic people, places and things.  Purge.  Get rid of it.  Trust yourself when you feel bad vibes.  Use a sage stick to smudge the bad vibes away.  Burn a candle.  Sing, do yoga and meditate.  Listen to music.  Watch a comedy or your favorite TV show or movie.  Walk in the garden, and pick up a wounded butterfly like I did the other day.  Smell the roses.  Notice the honeysuckle when you are weeding.  Feel the gentle breeze.  Do sun salutations, cartwheels on the beach.  Pet a cat, a dog.  The suggestions are infinite, but mostly just appreciate life.  It does not last forever.  Namaste.