However, there are a lot of things I know, which have been learned through experience. No matter how bad you think your job, spouse, or place to live is, someone would love to have it. Also, there are many predators of all kinds in this world, and pecking orders. It is obvious when you watch who someone hangs around with or what they do and where, what their agenda is.
Many times we are just a part of someone's agenda. It is not necessary, however, to tell someone what you really think of them. I mean I have had friends who I totally lost respect for. If you think about the people you do not like, and you are really honest with yourself, and not trying to be politically correct, and if you trust your gut, you will realize why and I think we should all have boundaries. If someone is really full of themselves, you do not have to hang around them. We have a choice.
Another thing I know is that when people tell you what other people say about you, they talk about you too. You can simply say, "I don't want to hear this." Obviously, if they are so comfortable listening to crap or smack about you, they are not your friend either.
When someone leaves you for someone, consider yourself lucky. You are the winner. Do not be tempted to ever take him back. You are free, so enjoy it. Feel grateful, and end all communication. When this happened to me, I tried to take him back, my worst ex boyfriend that is, and it was a big mistake, because in my heart I did not want him back.
I am not a relationship expert. I only know what not to do, rather than what to do. I know what is acceptable, and what is not, and I know how far forgiveness can go. I also know now about rebounding.
Not everyone is bad or skanky or sneaky or evil. Some people are trustworthy and loving. However, these are hard to come by. I mean I think the bad people are more common than the good ones. If you have a keeper, you are lucky, and my hat is off to both of you.
People are so easy to read. You can even test them to see how they really feel about you, and if they look down upon you. Usually you are right. This is not a reason to hate, but I think it is a good reason to stay away from that person. People outgrow people, and that can happen, so do not feel guilty if you have to give up a friend for your own sanity.
Back to relationships of the romantic nature, if you are a fifty year old woman and very independent and sane, unless you are very rich or very unhealthy mentally, it will be nearly impossible to find a guy your age. Most men are attracted to either really unhealthy women or really rich women. So, they are not worth it either. The men who are attracted to really needy, unhealthy women, are unhealthy men.
If you are married, I commend you. Still, I would never want to be with some of the men I see some women choosing. I would not want to be with some of the women either, even if I were gay. It just bores me to tears when people are materialistic social climbers.
Also, do not tell anyone your professional plans. People will undermine you if they can. As I said previously, whatever you have, and however bad you think it is, there are still people who would want it. I mean I do not live in the most desirable neighborhood, but people often stop me when I am outside, while they are going by in their car, to see if I know of anything for rent or for sale.
I know a lot about raising kids too, and I made a lot of mistakes. Mine are grown. I did not do everything wrong. I will say this, if you are a single mom, do not let a man move in, because he will find some way to abuse your kids and you as well. He may also be an opportunist who will take advantage of you financially, like what happened to me. If you are married, then that is different.
Also, if your child is being bullied or preyed upon, take action. Do not be a dumbass about it, and sit there like an ineffectual lump. Do not be too critical of your children, and remember how lonely childhood can be, and how scary and hard it is to tell adults things. Be the protector that a caregiver should be. And, very importantly, believe your children. They need that validation. Otherwise, they could be scarred for life and need years of therapy. It is hard enough to end up well adjusted as it is.
To say something slightly funny, I read a blog about making friends. I was feeling I needed more friends. It said if you are not very well adjusted, people might shy away from you. It certainly made me question my own self. But, I feel I carry myself pretty highly in this world. At least, that is what a friend told me once. Who is not slightly neurotic, anyway?
I have some good suggestions for anyone taking the time for reading my blog. Write and say affirmations like: I am beautiful, I am kind, I will prosper, I will be healthy, I will attract friendship and love that is healthy, and I will nurture my higher self, doing only what is best for my highest good, including forgiving myself, forgiving others, and at the same time healing and having boundaries.
Meditate, eat well, do yoga, and believe in yourself. Be happy. There is nothing more one could want than health, happiness, and prosperity, the feeling of abundance and plenty, rather than scarcity. Rather than coming from a place of deprivation, physically or emotionally, how rich one could make one's life if one came from a place of abundance in all things. Namaste.
