Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Cooking, All About Food

     If you want to stay healthy, or even loose weight, you have to get somewhat interested in cooking.  Recently I bought some fresh herbs and spices, garlic, cilantro, ginger, onions, etc..  
      As far as reality shows, I only like the cooking ones, other than Survivor.  Recently I cooked free range chicken breast, skinless and boneless, with chinese vegetables, water chestnuts, etc.  I thought it would be really great, but my son said it could have done without lemon juice, but I happen to like lemon in cooking.  He says just a tiny bit, but that I used way too much concentrated lemon juice.  
     While I find cooking interesting and enjoyable, the more people criticize your cooking, the less you want to cook, and so you load up on frozen pizzas, and there goes the careful meal planning.  But, to be fair, everyone gets tired of cooking sometimes.  Perhaps, my son is a better cook than I am.  Also, he has been living in Peru, where the food is supposed to be wonderful.  In fact, Lima is like the first city in the world to ban GMO's that everyone is talking about.  On top of that, they have the rain forests, and vegetables that we do not even know about, and their lemons look more like small limes, etc.  I suppose it is like how, in India, they have blood oranges, which are red, rather than orange.  We do not have those here.
     I am posting a picture of me eating Mexican food in a restaurant at the top.  Eating is good, yum, lol...

Monday, April 29, 2013

Why You Cannot Win: Unless

     I guess if you are a politician, you can always win, at least with someone, no matter what your stand.  I have had to refrain from responding to a pro-Sarah Palin post on Facebook.  Yeah, I know it is weird, me having f friends, with those views, but, well, I do.  
     My love, Alan, who died of cancer last fall, was a right winger.  My younger son used to think he was just trying to be different, and I can see that, because when America's youth was for Obama, including my kids, one of my son's friends, said she did not want to be for Obama, (I mean in 2008), but for McCain, because she did not want to just blend in with the rest of America's youth.  I saw John McCain, just the other day, on CNN, saying we should go to war in Syria.  We don't even know who or what we are going to war with in these wars, but having investigated Operation Iraqi Freedom, I know that the Iraqi soldiers were our allies, and vice verse, the insurgents being the enemy, as well as the Iranians.   Still, I do not think another war would be good for our country, which is already being looked down upon, for our financial problems, etc., and our wars, which I will not put an opinion on.  I like to take a stand of a soldier, concerning war, because although I am not a soldier, I write about soldiers and the war, and want to give due and full respect for those who serve for their country.  For them, there is no choice, and the consequences always come unexpected, the nature of war.  And like the Bob Dylan song, All Along the Watchtower, performed best by Jimmi Hendrix, even in Dylan's opinion, because he, Jimmi Hendrix, tore it up on guitar, (he was 'sick,' as my kids' generation remarks), looking at Viet Nam, a war going on when I was a child, and looking at Life Magazine, says "there must be some way out of here..."
     Veterans and soldiers for our country, have been grossly overlooked for so long.  That is why I give to veterans when I can.  For some, there is no option, and recruiters come so early, and lives for kids are bleak and hard in America.  If you judge America by the upper middle class, the rich, the bourgeois, you have no idea what the average American kid's life is like today, and that is why I wrote American Boys, why I wrote so many different blogs pertaining to it, and why I gave talks on video about it.  America is not this country, that some may think, where everyone has everything.  That is a lie.  Many Americans have very little to nothing, and many soldiers need opportunity.  We do not care for veterans as well as we should, and instead of cowardly Americans, hiding behind your silly conspiracy theories, stand behind veterans instead, like a real human being, and stop with the silly, tired conspiracy theories, that do no one any good.  This is my message to extreme liberals, as well as extreme conservatives.  Both are toxic.  Palin's message was, to say the least, irresponsible, towards Congress woman, Gabrielle Giffords, as well as the six people, including a nine year old girl, who were killed, in that shooting.  I have read Giffords' husband's book, and Sarah Palin, for the record, never even reached out to them, in Gabrielle's recovery, at any time, from her comatose state, etc.. Contrary, President Obama and First Lady Michelle, came to see her, called, and did everything in their power to help.  (Republican politicians, other than Palin, did reach out.)  Mark, Gabrielle's husband, half expected Palin to call, but she never did.  He called her "irresponsible," in her bulls eye targeting, which Palin called, in bad taste, a blood libel.  If you have ever been to a holocaust museum, and know what that is, you know it is a phrase that should not even be uttered, because of its implications, but Sarah Palin, probably did not know what it means, only followed her written speech.  By the way, Gabrielle Giffords is Jewish.  
     I realize many people do not understand where I stand.  I am not a liberal, not a conservative, not a conspirators theory believer, not a war monger, not judgmental; I am a moderate Democrat.  I am a patriot, an American.  I believe in choice, but wish that more people would think things through before, during and after, and that there were less abortions.  I believe in the second amendment, the right to bare arms against a fascist, dictatorial government, such as Nazi Germany, but think there should be strict gun laws, as well as serious background checks, disregarding any problems the NRA has with that.  And, last but not least, I believe in a society that makes help for the mentally ill, not only available, but affordable.
     That is what I am all about.

It is Not Easy to Let Go

     I realize I am always saying, "I am not my story, and I am not living in my story," so if I contradict that in this blog, I apologize.  I just wanted to share an extreme example or two, so that it would be known that I was speaking from experience, and although I am not a psychologist, a Course in Miracles guru, or any type of self help guru, period, just a person with a lot of different experiences, that may or may not benefit others.  Aside from that, I like to write, to express myself, and hope to write another novel, in which Operation Iraqi Freedom is the forefront, rather than just a part of the novel, as in my book, American Boys.  
     I have not been, nor wanted to be in a relationship, since Alan died.  Maybe that will change, but for now I am happy and not looking.
     Everyone knows that it is nice just to have someone to hold you, or to lie beside you all night, to not be all alone, but sometimes one has to find happiness with oneself, and I do not think a healthy relationship is possible, unless one learns to respect oneself enough to know what is acceptable treatment.
     I once had an addiction to a person, which has only been the case that one time, I think, but I remember my sisters coming over together, to intervene.  My then lover, who I had had a very long term relationship with, was coming back again and again, and I was much younger, and when he called, I was scared to say, "no, don't come back."  I tried, but it made me feel guilty and miserable, so instead of waiting through the withdrawal symptoms, I just kept caving in, even though, I knew he was poison for me and my children, and it was costing me a fortune, because not only was I supporting him when he was around, he was extorting all my money, through the use of guilt.  So, back to my sisters, they wanted me to let them call Heathrow Airport in London, England, have him paged, because he would still have been there.  They wanted to tell him not to come back, but I refused, even though looking back, that would have been a really good idea, and I should have let them, but I would never allow myself to be in a funky situation like that now.  I am way past that.  I finally 'grew up,' so to speak.
     They even wanted to have their husbands meet him at the airport, to say that he could not be with me...  I know it makes me sound lame and weak, but I was not in my right mind, and I had to play out the karma to the bitter end, but I finally said, "don't call me anymore.  I want nothing to do with you," and I was able to look right through him, when he did show up in town, in certain circles, and not speak to him.
     I am not saying it always has to be so dramatic and crazy, or extreme, but in this case it did, because this person was persistent, and I was confused.  I am wondering if I should not share this blog, but I guess I have nothing to hide here, I guess.
     I am just saying it is better not to let things get way out of hand and out of control, before you take the reigns and reel your situation in.  Things can really get away from you, when you are not adhering to the Higher Power.  That is why in twelve step programs, step 2 is, 'only a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.'
      I was once staying with a boyfriend on the other side of town, about six years ago, and one day he went out and got drunk, came back, verbally tormented me, and slapped me around, and I ran for my life.  A friend had to come get me, and I went back with friends days later, and got all my stuff.  I had stronger boundaries, respected myself more, was a few years older, was stronger in myself, and rather than waiting to see if he really hurt me, or hurt me worse the next time, I left.  I felt it was God doing for me what I could not do for myself.  The strength which was honestly just common sense, was given to me by God's grace, I think.  
     Note: I had no one else, who I know, in mind, when I wrote this article, so please do not think I meant that this was an analogy of any sort, to anyone else's situation.  In other words, unless this article was helpful for some reason, or not, please do not think I wrote it with anyone else in mind.  My situation was completely weird and unusual, and I do not know anyone like me or the other party in the story.  My point was merely to say, don't stay in unhealthy relationships, because you are addicted to them, and when people try to help, let them help.  Sometimes others see things objectively, which are harder to see subjectively, especially when you are right in the middle of it, or are confused and conflicted, in any way.  It is good not to be co-dependent, and I suppose my earlier story, was a sort of co-dependence. The second was an example of breaking the cycle of co-dependence.  And, again, as I always say, I am not my story, anyway.
     And by the way, if it is true love, then you know it, but letting the idea that it could be true love, lead you, when you are not happy, then it is time to get a grip, and really take a look.  There are always other fish in the sea, as my good friend Gary Gibbs used to tell me, all the time.  He would say, "don't get upset.  There's plenty of other fish in the sea."  It may sound trite, but for me, it was really good advice.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

I Am Not My Story

     While our story may partly make up who we are, we do not have to identify with the past, our story.  Dwelling on and reliving the past, telling it over and over, is not the answer to having happiness.
     Most of us have suppressed unhappiness from our childhood we cannot remember, as well as adult years, but that does not have to define one.  While our childhood, we cannot help, and even some of our adulthood, we cannot help, and even though as Chopra says, "the issues are in the tissues," going back to childhood, it is possible to learn from our early adulthood, and even not so early adulthood, mistakes, to be a better person.
     This does not mean that one should beat oneself up, because that does no good.  The best thing to do, whether you think you are a victim or a horrible person, and others were the victim, unless you are a psychopath, which I doubt, and in that case I cannot help, is to let it go, leave the past behind, 'a closed book,' take what you want and leave the rest, and go forward in the beauty and power of the eternal now.
     The present is like God, omnipotent, omnipresent, infinite, divine, peace, love, and the beyond, beyond, as Meher Baba says in the O' Parvardigar prayer.
     I am not my story.  I do not need to tell every new friend my story, because it does not define who and what I am.  
     I was once playing pool in a bar with a guy, several years ago, and I started telling an anecdote, as we were also drinking and having a good time.  He had a New York accent, and he says, "no stories, I don't wanna hear no stories..."  So I said no more.
     Truthfully, I was only going to tell him about playing pool in Boulder, Colorado in '96 with French people, and trying to speak French, and instead of saying, "je ne suis pas riche," I said, "je ne suis pas cher," but the French man and I had both laughed when I realized what I had said.  He knew I did not mean it.  But, see, I am so caught up in the past I could not resist telling you what 'New York', we'll just call him, would not let me..., lol. 
     Back to all seriousness, have you ever just decided to be present and mindful, eat mindfully, read mindfully, cook mindfully, walk mindfully, without worrying about yesterday, tomorrow, or two hours from now, let alone fifteen minutes from now?  Perhaps, you enjoyed a long hot shower, and were not worrying about getting in the car or going to work, but just enjoyed the hot water against your skin, the shampoo lather massaging your scalp.  
     Sometimes, when I get stressed, I sit down in lotus position, and my back really straight, hands open on my thighs, and I breath deeply in and out, enjoying the present, eternal moment.  With the left hand in your lap, you can use a clean right hand, to close the right nostril, count to four, breathing in, hold both nostrils for six, and breath out eight on the right, then starting over and ending with the exhale on the left nostril.  This is for energy, and you can do the opposite for relaxation, but both relax me, and I usually begin and end on the left nostril.  
     Now, instead of a story, my story, I am just me.  Namaste.  

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Healthy Options, Other than Food

     We have all been through crap, I know, but sometimes as you age, believe it or not, things can get better, not worse.  I am not sure for men, because I only know a woman's hormonal experience, but I know that as I get older, I feel more and more together.  
     Some of us can get into a habit of feeling something is wrong, like waiting for the other shoe to drop, and a lot of us feel this way, because that has always been the way it has been for us as long as we can remember, even into early childhood, not to go all 'pop psychology.'
     Recently a friend said something really, really odd to me, but instead of confrontation, because some of our friends as you know, are not completely stable and are somewhat disturbed, though an old fashioned word I know, for lack of a better word, I let it go, and asked God to help me see it differently.    
     So, I decided not to push the issue.  You know, sometimes we are stronger and more stable than we think.  Sometimes the unhealthy choices we have made, are just mistakes of our youth, and not a meter of our character.  
     Sometimes depression is only a bi-product of anxiety, inability to sleep, and worry.  Sometimes pharmaceuticals are the only answer, and I have been there, but sometimes one can outgrow the need for this, provided the diagnosis is not bipolar or schizophrenia, which are not just brought on by circumstance, but are biochemical.  That is, true bipolar, not bipolar brought on by circumstances, drugs or alcohol.  
     At this point in my life, when I feel bad, anxious or scared, if I remember to light some incense, and do yoga, meditation, and alternate nostril breathing, I can get into a better space, where that is all that I need.  I also find certain smells and colors helpful.  For example: teal and lavender make me feel calm.  The smell of lavender oil makes me feel calm.  Sometimes petting a dog or cat, makes me feel calm, which is why they walk therapy dogs through psychiatric hospitals, at times.  And, some occupational therapists, even bring their pets to work, if allowed.  The soft texture and purring of a cat lowers your blood pressure, they say, when you pet a cat.
     Lastly, we all have people who either 1) give us a hard time, 2) disrespect us, 3) are hostile, and or 4) are toxic to our well being from either blatant or subtle abuse, that is harder to detect, but there.  The thing is to rise above that, and to get in touch with one's sacred oneness, one's essence, and one's own truth, where none of this effects us.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

And So I Chose the Peace of God, Dog Petting, Retail Therapy and a Little Sunshine

     Okay, okay, so maybe I was pissed off and venting, and airing all my important opinions.  And, so what was the point?  I am not saying I cannot have a sensible opinion, and I cannot be myself or unique, but if I am coming from a place inside that is not peaceful, nor happy, then I need to 'have a V8' instead, so to speak.
     So, I got out into the sunshine of the beautiful April day, went shopping, bought beautiful things from India and Peru.  I sat on a bench in the sun.  I looked at the real live tigers, and I went into a Native American store, where there was a Siberian Husky, whose name was Stardust.  I pet her, and she was so beautiful. She was from the pound, her owner told me.  She invited me to pet Stardust, when I was admiring her.  The store owner admired her too.  She was gentle, and she looked like a wolf, light colored, like tan, with light eyes, like blue or gray.  
     I let the sun sink into every fiber of my being.  I wore my protective sunglasses over my glasses, and I absorbed the sun's rays.  It felt so good, and the weather was perfect.
     I also bought incense and therapeutic soap with oatmeal and vitamin E in the African store.  I was alone, but I did not feel alone.  I also bought beautiful woven mats, like Alan and I used to like.  Alan was my lover, who died last September.  I knew him for years, and we had dated off and on, although we fought a lot, so we were always breaking up.  Still, he was a gentleman and not disrespectful to me, or I would not have kept seeing him.  I learned that a long time ago.  
     I also bought a ring from Peru, which is gorgeous.  It sounds like I spent a lot, but I did not.  My purchases were modest, frugal, and humble, as my friend Susan Shader, would say.  
     I also went to Goodwill today, and found a brand new white silk blouse with the tags still on, and I washed it out in the sink, in warm water and hand soap, rinsing with cold water, then dried it on a hanger in the sunny bathroom shower.  It fits perfectly.
     So, other than listening to talking books and writing blogs, that is what my day has been like.  You know, sometimes I get all worked up about my opinions, whether right or wrong, and then I step back, choose the peace of God and the Holy Spirit thought system.  When I remember to be zen, to breath, to choose peace and to ask God to 'help me see this differently,' things usually start feeling better, and in a sense, start looking up, looking brighter, because the heaviness of thought, I just let go of, and go on.  Just go on, peacefully.  Oh, and I asked for some sage at the Native American store, but they had run out.  They had beautiful moccasins, the shoes and the boots, but very expensive.  Some day I will get some swede moccasin boots, in brown.  Shanti.
     In the picture above, is Coco, my friend's dog, and Ruben, my dog, who died recently.  Ruben is the brown, black and white hound dog.  Coco Puffs is the chocolate Labrador.

Correlation Between Multiple Abortions and Incompetent Cervix, Leading to Inability to Carry a Baby Without Miscarrying

     Gynecological procedures such as D & C, due to other reasons besides abortion, as well as endometrial biopsies, can cause a chance of incompetent cervix, which is a condition that makes it hard to carry a baby to term without miscarrying, because the cervix does not stay completely closed as it should.
     I have had a dilation and curettage for fibroids, as well as endometrial biopsies.  Dilation and curettage is also how early abortions are done, which is why if you have to have one for other reasons, they are sure to do a pregnancy test to make sure of not doing an uncalled for abortion.
     While there is not a lot of stock in women miscarrying who have had an abortion, numerous abortions, do cause incompetent cervix, especially if in the second trimester, when the cervix is dilated wider.
     You may think, "what are you talking about," but there are people who have abortion after abortion.  
     People complain about women on welfare who have children for more welfare, which is zilch, but I am more annoyed by women who have abortion after abortion.  Welfare is less for two children, than most women who receive child support get on a minimum basis.  They may be working the system, but not getting rich, and are living in poverty.
     Before you poopoo me, that I do not know what I am talking about, on either front, do the research as I have, and then tell me I am wrong.
     And, there is this thing that has been around for a while, called birth control, which can be taken responsibility for by the male or female.  Single people should not be having sex without condoms these days anyway, with all the diseases that have emerged, HIV, the virus which causes AIDS, herpes, HPV, chlamydia, etc., just to name a few.